Flooding + Black Eye = Happy Birthday Seanry!

Another birthday, another set of injuries and insurance claims.

I randomly ordered the book 101 Gourmet Cupcakes in 10 Minutes off Amazon last week and needed to justify the purchase. So, instead of the Monster Truck cake that Creepy picked out at Walmart, I decided to make the Cookies and Cream, cookie-stuffed cupcakes instead. It sounded like a good idea: cheap, easy and thankfully for me, skill-less because "Monster Truck/Off-Road" cupcakes aren't supposed to look pretty.

So according to the book, you take this and this

mix it and pour it into the pan like this

and it ends up like this

Then just schmear on some chocolate frosting, top with broken cookies and voila! Monster Truck Cupcakes.

The only problem is that while I was doing that, Ash was doing this with the 2 lb. bag of grapes I just got at the store.

Thousands of them ended up on our icky peel-n-stick vinyl floor. Thousands.

And then I found three hundred of these all over the cabinets and counters.

And when I wasn't cleaning up that, I was trying to keep Creepy from doing this with the steak knives. And without any pants on either. Scheesh. Talk about reckless.

So maybe, just maybe …

that's how Ben and I didn't notice that Kade had been downstairs quietly doing this.

It's hard to tell in the picture, but that's standing water on the carpet and lots of it.

According to three out of the six weasels who allegedly witness the event yet never bothered to tell mom and dad ...

... Kaden, allegedly, stuffed a whole role of toilet paper down the toilet and then tried to flush. And tried again. And tried again.

… The toilet by this point, allegedly, just kept filling and filling and filling, pouring water out of the toilet, onto the floor, out into the hall, onto the landing by the laundry room, into Dylan and Cameron's room and even into Sean and Kaden's room.

… At this point, Kaden, allegedly wandered upstairs casually and the big kids mentioned to dad (10-15 minutes later) that there was water on the floor.

Allegedly.

Two seconds later Ben hollered up the stairs, "NEEK! You better get down here!" And that, my friends, is never a good sign.

Ben and I stood on the landing in water deep enough to soak through our shoes and get our socks wet and didn't say much. After several minutes Ben quietly said, "I'll be back in a bit."

Twenty minutes later Ben returned with this.

It was deja vu seeing the orange shop vac come out of the box because it is the identical twin of our last shop vac--the shop vac that tragically perished the infamous Storeroom Oatmeal Incident of '07.

Ben got to work right away trying to salvage the carpet before mold and mildew set in. It took almost an hour to remove roughly 28 GALLONS of water. Yeah ... gallons.

Sorry the picture is blurry. Ben was hustling to get the water up and quickly.

While the carpet was pulled up and airing out, we figured it would be a good time to get out of the house. And though Ben and I weren't thrilled about taking The McEvils to McDonalds after that kind of mess, it was still Sean's birthday … and he had nothing to do with the flooding (just the kitchen trashing) … and the guilty kids had been in their rooms for over an hour … and we needed somewhere to unleash six loud children for a good couple of hours … and we needed some place cheap, since there was still a good chance at this point that we might be buying carpet later that night.

So, off to McDonalds and their blessed weekend promo: 50 chicken McNuggets for $9.99.

Perfect. Feed kids. Turn them loose. Let Mom & Dad relax.

Relax? Are you kidding me?

For starters there's french fry and McNugget rationing …

… and drink disputes …

No, you can't have the blue poweraid, just Sprite. Why??? Do you have any idea what a pain it is to get blue dye out of your clothes?!?! No? Well trust me! It's a pain.

Then there's the non-stop watch to keep the kids from pilfering other people's food. Ashlyn Marie ....!

Nope. Those aren't our drinks. And no, that's not our table. Kid's mine.

And of course the kids love playing in the toys and want to make sure Mom & Dad see them. Hi guys!

And somewhere in the middle of the mayhem I noticed this.

This picture does not do this justice. That sucker was glowing purple and blue.

Me: Dyl, what happened to your eye?

Dyl: What eye?
Me: (Pointing) Right there! How did you get that black eye?
Dyl: It's not black--its purple Mom!
Me: Fine. It's purple. How did you get that purple eye?
Dyl: Seanry and me were playing trains on the couch and fell and bunked my eye hard like a rock.
Me: Sean did that?
Dyl: Yeah. But it's fine now.
Me: When did this happen?
Dyl: While you and Dad were cleaning the water downstairs.

Seriously, kid? You couldn't just go upstairs and watch a movie while Mom & Dad cleaned up?

*Sigh*

I should have been glad that blood and broken bones weren't part of the equation. I know I should have. But at that moment I just felt tired. Like my parenting each day was just an exercise in futility I just. couldn't. win.

*Bigger sigh*

I was pretty down at that moment until Creepy plopped down next to me to finish the rest of his fries.

Look at this kid. He's adorable.

I couldn’t believe that it had been three years since we sprung his birth on everybody. I couldn't picture my life without him and his five other co-conspirators.

Earlier that day a family in our community had buried their one year old and four year old little girls. They passed away in a freak accident and I couldn’t possibly imagine their grief at the very moment I was sitting there sipping my Diet Coke.

They spent today at a funeral. I spent today with my kids.

What I was doing with them didn't matter.

What would they give for one more day with their kids--even a day of flooding and black eyes and wrangling kids at a playland?

Everything?

More than that?

And just like that, I was fine.

I looked down to see this smiling back at me.

After he laughed and ran off to go play on the slide, I closed my eyes and whispered:

Thank you for being alive.

Thank you, Father in Heaven, for letting me spend another Saturday with my crazy, destructive punks.

I realized in that moment that…

…I'd would rather wade through soaked carpets than tears…

…I would rather endure frustration than grief…

…I would rather have my mess-makers at my side than in heaven…

… I am so blessed.

And so I asked the nice lady helping me mop up the kids' spilled pop off the floor to take a family picture--even though the kids were moving and fussing and dancing like robots.

We were all there and that’s all that mattered.

On the way home we talked to the kids, again, about why its not a good idea to flush the entire roll of toilet paper down the toilet, or flush the toilet a hundred times in a row. We reminded them that Mom and Dad HAVE.TO.KNOW if there is anything that is "breaking" the house or dangerous. They all nodded their heads from the back seat.

When we got home, the kids couldn't wait to do cake, presents and ice cream.

As usual, Sean was more than happy to smile and say "Cheese!" for the camera. At least for a couple of shots.

Pretty soon the rough and tumble Seanry came through loud and clear. Apparently Sean thinks that Monster Trucks like to rawr like dinosaurs. Man I love this kid.

And then creepy got to open his presents.

I was most excited about the new clothes. Creepy was the most excited about the tractor.

There was a small panic moment when Ben went to go get the presents out of our room that I hadn't actually wrapped and didn't actually have wrapping paper for. But it was so not worth running to the store about and I don't think the kids could have waiting another second anyway.

So we went green.

I used a reusable wrapping material to cover his gifts. And as soon as Sean was done, Ben's coat got hung back up in the closet. Somewhere Al Gore is smiling.

Ben and I shared a tired, weary laugh just before bed about another memorable birthday in our house. It seems like all of them seem to end up that way. I suppose we'll never have those wonderful, themed birthday parties at Chuck E. Cheese or some park or have all the balloons and friends and decorations.

But that's okay.

I have this and this ...

and this.

I have everything.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Creepy.