All Of It

So I was reading my favorite blog this morning looking for the usual dose of inspiration and motivation to help me snap out of this weeks-long funk I’ve been in. And as I slowly scrolled through the beautiful pictures of all those nothings-that-are-really-somethings moments, Savannah came up behind me and peered over my shoulder. A minute later I heard her bawling and I felt that familiar irritation and low-patience threshold approaching for what I assumed was some trivial thing, like “Mommy, I’m sad because unicorns aren’t real.”

But instead, my girl threw me for a complete loop.

“Mommy,” she said through tears, “I’m sad because those people are better than us.”

And my jaw dropped.

What the …?  What do you mean …?

“Those people are having so much fun and have lots of pictures.”

And again I sat there stunned. The pictures on the screen showed the mom and her kids running errands and window shopping in their home town.

Better than us? So much fun?

And in a sadly defensive sort of way, I quickly rattled off that we have lots of fun and take pictures, too.

It’s just that Mom hasn’t been writing about it lately.

So I pulled open the posts from our Saturday adventures last summer—all those pictures of park visits and drives to nowhere special—and immediately Savannah’s tears stopped … and the smile came back … and within a few minutes, all the kids were huddled around the computer laughing and pointing and remembering all the cool stuff we do. Like go to the grocery store.

And after we finished looking back on pictures, I realized {again} that I need to be writing more like I used to because it means a lot to the kids—not just some day, but right now.

So I committed during lunch that I wouldn’t go to bed tonight until I started writing and doing something with these pictures that fill up my hard drive and eat up my batteries.  And instead of tweaking and thinking and obsessing about this block that comes to my mind every time I sit down to write lately, I’m going to just let it tumble out: random, unorganized … but out there.

So in no particular order, I’m loving …

Lost Teeth

Kade’s lost his first two teeth last week and is thrilled to finally be one of the big kids. Since I have never messed with the whole Tooth Fairy thing, TDHD know that lost teeth can be sold to mom for a buck.  So as soon as morning jobs were done, Kade couldn’t get out to the truck fast enough to spend his money at the dollar store.

And ya know what he picked?  A thermometer. No joke.

We even got into an argument in the toy isle as I tried to convince him that he’d be happier with crayons or a puzzle or stickers. But the thermometer won. And he loves it, proudly carrying it into D.I. and Smith’s and school to announce to everyone that he’s a scientist just like Sid the Science Kid and “it’s this many hot” while he points to the red line.

I Told Ya SOs.

Cam instead that sleeping on the hard coffee table would be great and totally comfortable, even when I bet him he wouldn’t last the whole night.

The first night he ended up on the floor. And by the second night, his brave face dissolved around 10:30 when I heard him head down stairs. I found him the next morning curled up the next morning on the stack of new, plastic-wrapped mattresses.

Comfy, dude. 

 

School Around The Coffee Table … and Going Manual

My I-can’t afford-preschool-and-am-not-doing-a-neighborhood-preschool-with-the-little-kids-like-I-did-with-the-big-kids guilt has hit epic proportions lately. So Ben helped me sit down the other day and redo our family schedule so that I have dedicated “school” time each morning with The Littles.

So far it’s been nothing formal, just time around the coffee table with crayons and notebooks and clapping as Sean spells his name over and over and Ashy counts one to  “ee-webbin” skipping ‘10’ every time out of principle.

The other thing this time does is let me play around with the few {sorta} manual modes my point-n-shoot camera has. Today it was “A” on the dial for aperture.  The sun was shining brightly through the windows in that wonderful sort of way that warms up the cushions in a still cold room, so I figured it would a good chance to shoot a bunch of pictures and see how they turned out.

I was planning on getting a big girl camera last week, but it’s not going to happen now and I’m really struggling. The truck and Intrepid both went down with some major issues only a few days apart—a total blindside for us since both cars have always run so well. And while I’m so glad that we had money set aside that can absorb a lot of those costs, letting go of something I’ve been looking forward to for almost a year (as well as an upcoming family reunion six years in the works) has been hard.

But the Lord always has perfect timing … and my pity party happened to hit right about the same time as the earthquake in Japan.  And suddenly losing  a new camera and even a trip home was put in proper perspective.  So I’ve been trying to push back the lingering disappointment and deliberately choose to fall back in love with my cheepy camera and learn to love it for everything that it can do instead of obsessing over how much better/clearer/sharper/faster my pictures and projects would be with a DSLR. 

So manual … we’re trying manual.  And getting extra practice in growing up and being grateful for what’s here and safe and protected.

Vacation Time

Having Ben home last week rocked. For starters it was great to finally begin reclaiming our house and actually moving forward with small ways to make it better.

Beds for the kids and major room swaps were a big start.  Ben spent most of the week cutting, drilling, gluing and nailing new beds for the boys.

Most of the time the kids were at school, but it was awesome each afternoon as they came home … and bounded downstairs to check the day’s progress … and help their dad in small ways.

Watching Dylan goof off and dive for cover every time the saw started up was a kick. He hammed it up like a pro. And the fact that he played off my expressions made me float.

Seanry had a blast, too. As soon as the last nail went into his bed, he couldn’t wait to climb up and shout “My Bed!” to Ashy and pretend to snore under his blankets.     

Painting has been slow, slow goings. But it’s still exciting to see blankets down and the boys snuggled up each night in their new dorm.

They LOVE it. Seriously, seriously love it.

 

Ornery Girl

Turns out she’s two …

… and a climber.

Ben called me down in the middle of the big room switcharoo to see Ash inches from the ceiling atop a five-deep stack of mattresses. Of course girlfriend had to tear big holes in the mattress cover clawing her little piggy toes to the top, but seeing her fearlessly scale that pile was impressive.  The next hour of repeatedly pulling her down and banishing her to time out was annoying.

We figured it would be better to stack all the mattresses in the only room with a child lock, but Ash still managed to find her way in there, too.

And within seconds she had climbed back up on top, Princess and the Pea-style—all while smuggling in a box of Samoas.

I want my cookies back, girl.

Home.

Despite the totally bummed feelings about the camera and reunion, there have been so many tender mercy moments the last few weeks that I want my kids to always remember:

… like Ben being able to cut down boards for the beds with only 1/8” – 1/2” left over so that we didn’t need as much lumber …

… like finding the exact paint I need for the beds at the recycling center and not having to spend a dime …

… like finding out there was a metal bed frame and separate beautiful wood bed—perfect for the girls’ room—available for free from two families in our ward who were going to take them to D.I.. What are the odds? …

… like finding matching dust ruffles for the girls’ bed in the exact shade of pink as their quilts. One’s a full and the other a twin, but who cares? Six bucks for two, perfectly matched pieces of bedding—and at a thrift store?  Awesome.

And no coincidence.

And the family time? Savannah, we’ve had some great family time and I’ve got the pictures to prove it.

Moments like:

… getting home from running errands Saturday night … and dropping all the sacks on the couch … and dragging out the newly acquired cheap games from D.I. to play while dinner cooks …

… or deciding that, yes Dylan, tonight would be the perfect time to bring the barbeque out of hibernation … and running down to the corner gas station to refill the propane tank … and having charbroiled hamburgers and hotdogs while it’s hovering near freezing outside …

… or staying up late playing Guess Who? and Sorry! … and having to download the instructions to Sorry! because no one can remember exactly what the rules really are …

… or laughing that some of the kids so get the whole strategy thing and some never will … and consoling the kids that constantly get their pieces bumped back to start (and trying to teach the others how to play nice with their sibs) …

… and finally …

… waking up Sunday morning to this …

… a family game night rematch with jammied kids and serious bed hair as that same bright sun streams through and warms up that still cold room.

Right now I’m lovin’:

All of it.